Two weekends ago there was a snow storm a brewing and my plans for the weekend had been shattered. I decided to take a trip to the forgotten borough to hang out at home for the weekend.
Whenever I'm home Fridays usually go the same way. I wake up, go downstairs to have coffee with my Grandma and watch some Jerry Springer and then I wait for a phone call from my mom to tell me to meet her at the bus stop so we can go have coffee and run some errands. This Friday, though, my father did not want me driving so I went with him to get Mom ( and a book from Barnes and Nobles).
When we arrive back at the house I walk up to the door and saw an envelope sticking out of the mailbox. The top left corner said " Toni Morrison" and I'm sure I read that wrong. I close my eyes and open them again. " Toni Morrison" it says and underneath "author". What, WHAT, WHAT WHAT? Why was there mail from Toni Morrison in my mailbox? Now, I am not a huge fan of Toni Morrison. I think she is a great writer, but not one of my favorites. That fact, however, did not matter. What did matter was there was an envelope from a famous author in my mailbox. Were they calling me to the front?
I dropped everything I was holding and yanked out the envelope. It wasn't addressed to me. I knew it was too good to be true. It was addressed to Grandma. I thought to myself "Hm, curious" and I ran inside yelling " Letter from Toni Morrison, letter from Toni Morrison!"
"What what what are you talking about?" Grandma looks worried.
"Mamala, who is that?"
She gives me permission to open it and I tear it apart. I see a stack of pages with courier bold font because everyone knows that is the font writers would choose to write letter with. Gotta make it look authentic. I am reading and reading and reading. Eventually after page four I realize that this is a generic letter. Toni Morrison wants money for some organization or other. I stopped reading because I have no money. But I was disappointed. Grandma probably sent them a check once upon a time and now her name will be on file forever. This time it is Morrison knocking on the door, who knows what famous person will be next?
I will fall for it again, though, that is for sure.